Dog-Eared Page and the Wandering Mind
I sometimes feel like I have an overly inquisitive mind. I just have this sense of wonder and mystery in my head that I can’t switch off. Ultimately my imagination runs wild with it creating possible scenarios and plausible characters in a story I invent. The dog-eared page is a prefect example of what I mean.
A few weeks back I was wandering the halls of the University’s vast library. My preferred location is the fifth floor because of the view over campus but also because that floor is dedicated to performing arts media as well as classic literature section. Up there, there are an abundance of books and DVD’s on film and just about any aspect of such you can imagine: It’s effects on society, film in relation to storytelling, gender and social politics on the screen, etc. And in this wide array of books I saw one that caught my eye: Psychoanalysis and Cinema, The Imaginary Signifier. So I checked it out, just in case I needed some light reading before bed. (Yes that is sarcasm)
To be honest I didn’t read much of the book at all. It was originally written in French and its translation is extremely dense. It’s the type of book where I’d be happy to understand about 1/3 of the text and then lend it to Aaron Draughty to have him tell me about the rest in words I’d look up later. But just as I was thinking to myself “what is this doing in the library? I bet it hasn’t been checked out in years,” I came across something: a dog-eared page. And even more surprising was an underlined sentence on the page.
Instantly my mind was going through possible people who would have checked out the book and underlined it. Since the spine was very rigid and unworn even though the book is 15 years old I knew it couldn’t be just anybody. For the same reasons it seemed to eliminate film-studies students as well, because if the book was assigned reading or even suggested reading, this only copy would be much more worn and more often checked out. So my initial conclusion was a professor of some sort. Someone who knew exactly what was in the book, where to find it, and was merely using it as a quote to support his own teaching or beliefs. But then I turned the page.
Not only were there more sentences underlined, but in the margin there was also distinctly female writing. Now I’m not expect on handwriting analysis but I learned a thing or two from Megan about it, and I knew enough to know that the way her S’s swooped and her T’s swayed she wasn’t at all the person you’d picture reading this book, let alone finding things she felt were important enough to mark for later. Now I’m sure there are cynics reading this who would just assume it was some random college girl, writing some random paper. But I couldn’t accept that.
My mind tried to cover over the possibilities of what the words meant to her. Sentences like: “Between the logic of the most ‘absurd’ film and that of the dream, there will always remain a difference, because in the latter what is astonishing does not astonish and consequently nothing is absurd: whence, precisely, the astonishment and the impression of the absurd one feel on waking.” All the underlined sections were in the chapter Film and Dream, and it was as if the other sections of the book weren’t even touched. What was she looking for? And more importantly, why?
I decided that perhaps she had seen a dream sequence in a film that affected her in an unexplainable way, and she was looking for answers to what she felt. Or perhaps she has powerful dreams that she thinks will translate well into film but is looking for ways to interpret them for the screen. Whatever the case she seems to have a strong connection to both film and dreams and I therefore felt a fabricated comradely with her. My mind had run rampant with questions, I wanted to meet her and get answers.
And this is what I do. I don’t mean to, it’s just that my mind will take a small bite and then my imagination will go into a frenzy of possibilities. Like every time I buy second hand clothes I can’t help but wonder about the person that wore them before. Obviously since we both bought the same garment we have similar clothing taste, so what else do we have in common? I wonder too what happened in the clothes before I had them. Was love found in them, love lost? Was life created while they lay on the floor, or was life lost in them? Dose the small hole have a story behind it? What is the significance of the sewn on patch, is it a statement or just aesthetics?
This is much more of a muse than a blog post, but I wanted to see if I was alone in this. I see everything as having a story behind it, and surely someone out there has an equally wandering mind. Surely.

November 19th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Makes perfect sense, especially about the second hand clothes. I was in Mr Pickwick’s Fine Old Books the other week and was contemplating the same things. Who owned this little book of poems . . was it an older gentleman that had owned the book for some time? . . . was it a younger woman who had been given a present that she cherished? . . the book on old sketches from American cities - did they actually get to see these cities change through time or were these pictures the last they saw of their country . . . and how did this book get to Australia of all places? . . . Interesting musings.
November 19th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
have you ever seen the movie “whisper of the heart” its an anime, and i’m not a big anime fan but this one is so paralleled to your blog post that its almost scary. you should definitely watch it.. find it online or at your local video rental place. its really good. and adorable…
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:32 pm
You’re not alone. Carrie and I both have this tendency as well. We now have an entire cardboard box (titled “Found”), with tons of found polaroids and notes and letters that we have chanced upon through the years. One of the very few perks of being a janitor. Sometimes we will go through a whole rack of books in Goodwill looking for things left between the pages (we live in Ellensburg…what else are we going to do?). It’s amazing how quickly you can begin projecting a thumbnail sketch of a life by the detritus of unknown souls. Especially telling are lists.
Here’s a couple I just dug out:
Carrie found this one torn in half at the Fred Meyer parking lot:
“-mate?
-goth makeup
-benedryl
-food”
Another from the garbage:
“Family,
I love YOU. I will Miss YOU!
XOXO
Dad
AKA
Guy
-Kotex
-Minipads
-Iron Tablets
-bb wipes”
And this one found under a chair in a clinic: (almost all of these were crossed out):
“-water
-call about finger print
-pick up finger print cards
-shower -meds
-nuts / xerox
-bath set-thrift
-camera disk FM
-clean vent
-shampoo BR rug
-deliver Liz’s card”
I always thought there was something vaguely sinister about this last one.
Anyway, the point is, I get where you’re coming from. And then there’s the problem I have of anthropomorphising, which was addressed in the Young People Ask article “Young People Ask: Should I Anthropomorphise My Inanimate Belongings Without Their Consent?”
For instance, having just watched the DVD put together about the recent Yakima quick build (sorry..Volunteer Build?), I imagined the old Kingdom Hall weeping quietly each night, realizing full well that it is now in the service of the wild beast, being used as a military facility.
It can be tiring to think this way.
Thanks for the reminder. And I hope you find this person that wrote in the book because that was one fantastic quote.
-Beau